Spend a comfortable life..

This is a phrase I hear a lot in Japan.  If we overlook the awkward sentence construction, what does this mean exactly?  Easy?  Convenient?  Relaxing?  All of the above?

(Side note: I had orginally intended to write about how safe Japan is.  After all, is that tantamount to comfort?  But as I thought more about it, I decided to veer a different direction.)

Here's another question set for you: Does where you live affect you as a person or does the person you are just transport to a new place with you?  Would all my gaijin friends at the table pounding beers be doing that in their home countries?  Or has the atmosphere of Japan radically changed them into beer pounding machines?

It took me a while to feel comfortable here.  Of course, I've always felt safe but comfortable is different in this case.

Back in America I was a bit of a homebody.  I didn't party and hardly ever drank, and because I was older when I moved to Japan, I felt those days were behind me.  When I moved to Japan, my only friends were my coworkers.  Don't get me wrong I like these guys (almost all guys) but they went out every Friday night.  At first this was fun for me but I realized that I didn't have any other friends.  I would occasionally hang out with the other female who I worked with, but she was my only female friend.  For a little while it seemed that Japan had changed me, and I wasn't happy.

I hit the internet.  I searched on language exchange sites, I joined Meetup, and I looked for ways to widen my social circle.  Soon I had girl friends!  We went shopping.  We ate lunches.  We did プリクラ。

Then just last year, I became very close with one of my new co-workers.  I didn't know it the first time we hung out because we mainly bitched about work, but I soon found out we had the world in common.  We both loved to sew and make costumes.  We loved" Glee".  We found joy in being lazy homebodies.  I was happy and comfortable in her presence.

Japan is such a transient place.  I had known that but it never affected me like it had when she decided to take a job in another country.  I've been tremendously busy since she left but I remain a bit withdrawn.  It may sound cheesy but it's difficult to form durable bonds like that with people these days.  Everyone is so busy here (even me).

Another friend of mine told me she didn't make friends with people much anymore.  She said she had been hurt too many times by people who have left Japan.  I'm starting to understand where she's coming from.

I hope I can continue to form strong friendships like that.  I'm not ready to give up just yet.  Every other aspect of my life remains quite comfortable: job, fiancée, master's classes (well sort of), home, and anything else I'm forgetting.  I love Japan and I'm happy it's my home but I don't think I will ever get used to how much people come and go here. 

This post is part of the J-Bloggers Comfort Carnival.