I thought about calling this Lost in Japanese (again) but this title is much catchier eh? Last week I started Lesson 7 in みんなの日本語 in Japanese class. Not having studied, I failed miserably in class. This week determined not to look the fool, I studied the entire chapter. Previously in the book there were a couple related verbs per chapter (most I knew from previous studies). Lesson 7 decides to throw a ton of verbs into one chapter (most of which I didn't know prior to studying it). A little bit of anxiety surfaced when my teacher was missing as was my entire group. No doubt thwarted by the miserable rain drenching Tokyo currently. As per usual, I was assigned a new teacher (who's very nice.) She helped me through Lesson 7 and even drew the most adorable pictures to help. She wasn't a bad teacher. She spoke slowly (albeit quietly) and tried to help me learn. My brain, on the other hand, had other ideas and refused, flat out refused to learn this lesson. In my frustration, I started to tear up and couldn't suppress them (even though I was able to shut down the first tears that tried to come out). I soon felt horrible about crying because, of course, she blamed herself. She tried to say that she spoke too fast or she didn't prepare well enough. I tried to explain that it wasn't her fault and that I was stupid. (I said that in Japanese.) And she gave me two packages of tissues and would not accept them back. She was so nice and comforting and I felt horrible because I knew she wouldn't stop blaming herself. She promised to prepare better and we can learn this together next week and I promised to study. I lost the end of my lesson because of my tears and frustration. She tried to help me some more but I couldn't turn off the tears. My friend Alice says I have hit a wall. I don't know what to do or how to get over it. Is this normal? Any comments or advice would be much appreciated. I have to cut this short because I am starting to feel dizzy.
日本語を難しいです！
I think we all reach that point in life, you do the work but some part of you has doubts and says you can't. For me it's when I'm writing, I procrasinate a lot because some voice in me is saying 'why bother you will never get published', it's just part of life and something we have to overcome.
ReplyDeleteBeing able to speak any Japanese is a a triumph, I learned it for 2 years and can only say a few phrases, and write nothing. I always wanted to keep it up but unfortunately there was no demand for teachers over here and thus no one to teach me.
I always dreamed of teaching English in Japan but I never pursued the course. I still debate about it, but I think for me I need to focus on my writing and push with that.
Don't give up, you'll have good days just as you have the bad days!